As a sort of side hobby, I’ve started thinking about how political speeches could have been delivered better, or just differently. So I imagined how Biden’s speech about vaccination in spring and summer 2021 would have sounded like, if written by Larry the Cable Guy:
My fellow Americans: We have got to crush this virus. The only way we will get everyone back to work, the only way we can make sure no one dies from just being with other people, is to crush this virus. And it is my pleasure to unveal my three part plan, to crush coronavirus. First, you have to get your vaccine. Second, rrrbody needs to social distance, at least until July 4. Finally, you have to don a mask, at least for the next few months.
That’s right, America: git ‘er done!